Why breakups happen

Even on the happiest days, we can still have our issues. I have had friends and cousins come to me asking for relationship advice. Image credit: Still From Tamasha. Breakups are not easy. They hurt and they form the foundation of all your future insecurities. Our experiences make us cautious, past betrayals make us doubtful, and an undesirable outcome makes us pessimistic. But that is not what we are discussing here today.

Breakups have outcomes that are peculiar to each relationship. We are asking the tough questions- what are breakups, and how does one reach that point in their relationship? Image credit: Still From Ek Villain.

It is you who wants it more than them right now and that is why you choose to stay in a relationship. So, as normal stresses of a life together pile up and crowd out time for romance and intimacy, couples may put less effort into their relationship.

Or, they may let the grievances they hold against one another tear them apart. Some couples divorce or separate because of severe disconnection rather than severe conflict.

These first two points are the most common reasons couples request an appointment with a couples counselor. They also happen to be the two situations when couples counseling works best. A third common reason for a break up is a perceived lack of balance between partners. As the relationship evolves over time, couples need to adjust to changed circumstances, changed roles, and changed life experiences.

If one member of the couple does most of the changing, resentment may set in. A well-trained counselor can help re-balance the expectation for change, manage conflict, deal with differences, and repair disconnections to avoid painful breakups or to help break up with dignity.

Do so through concrete actions and stay steady! Over time your ex will be forced to recognize that you have changed and you can once again become a challenge and be appealing to them!

Remember that we are here to help! Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love Why Breakups Occur? Answers By Relationship Experts Specialized In Getting Back With An Ex We wanted to share some of the questions that have been asked to us during our coaching sessions on how to get back with an ex and on the topic of why breakups happen or what leads couples to a separation.

Jack, 26, Toronto, Canada. Tanya, 32, Providence, RI. Luis, 29, Miami, FL. Claire, 31, London, UK. Sophie, 40, Melbourne, Australia. Dillon, 52, Tampa, FL. Radio Silence : The new and improved no contact rule to get back with an ex! Cory, 36, Detroit, Michigan. Christian, 31, Orange County, California.

Let's Do This. According to Mark V. Redmond of Iowa State University, the theory outlines how "we are disturbed when there is no equity in an exchange or where others are rewarded more for the same costs we incurred. When your significant other spends the entire day slaving away on a home-cooked meal, don't forget to thank them for all that hard work.

Otherwise, your partner will feel like all their efforts have gone unnoticed, or that you feel like your time is more valuable than theirs.

When gratitude is not expressed, emotional, and sometimes physical, health is compromised. Insecure folks use their partners as a crutch in order to feel better about their many perceived shortcomings. And when the relationship is less than satisfactory, they see this as a slight against who they are as a person, which can lead to anger, frustration, and ultimately, the end of the relationship.

Unfortunately, it can be difficult to reason with someone who pins their self-worth to the status of their relationship. One of the most important parts of being in a relationship is loving your partner for who they are without trying to change them.

People who secretly wish that their partner was just a little bit more fashionable or athletic will find that they love an unrealistic version of their partner and not the actual person with whom they're coupled. It always helps to remember that love is unconditional—and if yours isn't, then it might not be love after all. You can pretend to settle an argument with your spouse just to make it go away, but that is only going to make things worse.

After getting married, it takes work to maintain the spark that once existed in your relationship. If you don't work on keeping it alive, you risk falling into the same old routines. As soon as the initial newness of living together wears off, such everyday things cease to feel exciting and romantic, and you may find yourself feeling worried that your partner no longer cares as much or is as excited to be with you.

Every person in a relationship just wants their voice to be heard—but in return, you need to give your partner that same respect and actually listen to what they're saying. If your partner thinks that you're ignoring them, they will feel like their opinions and emotions aren't important to you—and consequently, neither is the relationship.

If you got married straight out of high school or college, you might start to reconsider your relationship later on. According to a study from Nicholas Wolfinger , a professor at the University of Utah, couples who marry younger are at a greater risk of divorce compared to couples who wed in their late 20s and early 30s.

Unfortunately, if you get hitched when you're under the age of 20, Wolfinger estimates that your divorce risk is 32 percent, based on age alone. Before you tie the knot, make sure you figure out finances, living arrangements, future career paths—anything that could potentially get in the way of your happiness and relationship down the line.

If you fail to do so, your relationship might be doomed from the start. In a survey of more than 2, married and divorced people in Oklahoma, researchers found that " little or no helpful premarital preparation " was a top reason cited by divorcees for why their marriages didn't last. Starting a family is a big decision that shouldn't be rushed into—and if you do jump the gun on that choice, it could kill your marriage.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that " parents showed sudden deterioration following birth on observed and self-reported measures … of relationship functioning. Sometimes relationships fall apart not because of incompatibility, but because of issues in the bedroom. In her list of some of the common reasons for divorce, U.